Greed or Ambition?

Where does the line fall between greed and ambition? What separates a successful individual we study in history books from a man scorned for his voracity? Well obviously, it’s the decisions that both of those groups make. There are vultures on Wall Street who chose to cut corners and violate regulations to gain wealth and notoriety, but there are even more folks who worked hard within the rules to build success. Those were choices made, the easy road or the honest one.

I want to delve a little deeper into the issue, really create a conundrum. I want to explore the internal struggle of the men and women mentioned above. For some, I’m sure there isn’t much of a struggle. To them, the benefit greatly outweighs the risk and it’s not a tough decision. For most (hopefully), there is a much greater internal debate. I’m not just talking about the Wall Street example here, I want to include anyone and everyone. Consider situations of choice between good and corrupt as well as the struggles of those who are simply struggling.

Let me give you an example. There is a man, let’s call him Ned, who really does not like his job. He is educated, motivated, works hard and has goals set for himself. Still, try as he might he just can’t seem to break into a better occupational situation for himself. Application after application, there is still no interest. He begins to feel hopeless and trapped. He truly struggles through his everyday situation, knowing that he is capable of much more. This is just the beginning of an internal self-examination.

Ned’s faith tells him that he should be thankful for the job that he has and to work hard and be the best man he can be (but not by joining the Army). Society tells him that in order to be thought of as a success, he must earn more and do something more valuable. History tells him that it is possible. Yet, his status remains unchanged. At this point, the human psyche begins to run wild.

Shawn Carter is a high school dropout who sold drugs as a young man to support himself. He worked incredibly hard to launch a music career, start a record label and clothing line and is now estimated to be worth $500 million. You might recognize him by his well-known alias, Jay-Z.

Andrew Carnegie was a poor Scottish immigrant who worked in a factory at age 13 to help support his family. By the time he reached middle age, he was a wealthy man with investments in the railroad and steel industries. Doubtless he was helped by the demands of war and a little bit of luck, but he was said to have been relentless in his work ethic and pursuit of knowledge (he also dedicated mass amounts of time and money to numerous charitable endeavors).

So Ned might well wonder, what separates him from the two “rags to riches” examples above? He did well in school, went to college and works hard every day. Yet, he wants more for himself. He wants to think of himself as a success. That might mean different things for different people, however. For one it could mean simply having a job he or she is proud of and a family to love and support. For another it might mean making some kind of Forbes list. But no matter the goal or the motivation, the same struggle exists when one isn’t where he wants to be.

Does this make all men inherently greedy? Wanting more than he or she has. Should we be happy with what we’ve got if that includes health and a roof? Can we learn to be truly happy with our situation even if we often yearn for a better career?

According to Merriam-Webster, these thoughts don’t necessarily make one greedy. Greed is defined as the wanting of more than is necessary, more than one needs. Now it can be argued as to whether one needs to have a job that they enjoy or at least one from which they feel some sense of pride or accomplishment. I believe that this is indeed an important part of true happiness.

Sure, we can learn to appreciate the positives of any job but we will always want to know what it’s like to be satisfied with what we do. Don’t feel guilty for wanting more than you have. Feel guilty when you start to want more than you need. Then think about those who just want contentment.

Ned doesn’t need $500 million. When he finds himself in a rewarding career he’ll feel like ten Andrew Carnegies.


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Wikipedia was used to compile the Jay-Z and Andrew Carnegie bios.

Where is the love?

here is a loud conversation going on behind me, toward the back of the bus. Two men are blabbering on as if the other 50 passengers can’t hear everything they are saying. The subject and content are, to put it mildly, distasteful. I try to focus on the book sitting open in my lap and disregard the ignorance spewing from their mouths. Try as I might, different scenarios begin to play out in my mind. First I stand up and calmly put them down with an intelligent and flawless statement, they have no choice but to be quiet. I acknowledge that the outcome of that scenario is more likely to result in some kind of altercation and so my mind wanders further. I won’t go into too much detail about the second scenario, but the two men end up in enough pain to force an end to their conversation.


In reality, nobody says anything to the men for the remainder of the ride and we all arrive at our destinations without injury. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one on that bus ride envisioning violent action, but nobody said a word. We all have moments or experiences when we feel anger and a desire to turn that fury into violence. Most of us, however, choose to overlook the source of our frustration and take the higher road. Our patience is stronger than our rage.


What is it then, that makes some people take the other path? There are those to whom violence is the answer to frustration. I will go ahead and spoil the end of this post by saying that I don’t have an answer. I don’t know why some people lash out with fists when others would choose to run or talk. I don’t know why they walk into schools and office buildings hell bent on destruction. The sad reality is that it happens. There is a disconnect between those who can control the naturally occurring human emotion that is anger and those who allow it to transform into violence.


Michael Vick can be used as an example. He fought dogs against each other and tortured and even killed those that underperformed. Where was his conscience to tell him that was wrong? What happened in his life that stunted the development of that right/wrong compass?


Sure video games, movies and TV have become increasingly violent and in more realistically graphic ways. But there are so many young people who grow up with that exposure and can still function in society without acting like the Allstate mayhem guy. So, we’ll put that on the back burner for now(definitely not endorsing young people’s exposure to violent entertainment).


Following the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, there has been a focus on the mental health awareness in our country. My sister and her husband nearly purchased a house in Newtown recently (before the Sandy Hook shooting). My heart broke as I watched the news coverage this December, picturing my unborn niece or nephew lying on the floor of that school, or the love of my life, a guidance counselor. Still, it wasn’t a chemical or psychological imbalance that made the young man walk into that school. The majority of those with mental disabilities don’t turn to violence.

It could be related to upbringing and lessons learned or not learned early in life. It could be the influence of where and how the psyche is developed. It could be a genetic trait passed on between generations. Most likely it is a combination of some or all of these.  As we know the most violent people who have surfaced in our society lately haven’t come from rough neighborhoods. They grew up in relative ease, in middle class families with means. No matter where you grow up, however, psychological damage can be sustained.


There needs to be a concentrated effort to study the lives of violent people and to identify the common factors which may determine a person’s tendency for violence. What kinds of events lead to the degeneration of the conscience? Or do violent people never develop a conscience? Or do they just ignore it when it’s telling them that something is wrong? Obviously the fear of punishment and the negative emotions that go along with hurting others are not enough to stop the desire for violent action.


How do we stop the violence? Sorry, but I did warn you, I don’t have an answer.

The Anatomy of a Run

(A work of realistic fiction)

Sitting on the couch on a Saturday morning an infomercial for P90X comes on the TV...

You put down the Cheetos. Hmm, the sun is out. Maybe you should go for a run.

Weather.com app says it 37 degrees. You put on your one pair of running pants and a hoodie. You look like Rocky. You feel like Rocky. You’re going to own this run. You’re going like five miles.

You step out the front door onto the porch. You cue up the workout playlist and do approximately 10 seconds of stretching.

Strides 1,2,3...

Oh man you’re not Rocky, you’re muscles are tight and your joints crack. You’re already tired. Shit, maybe you’ll only go like 2 miles. You’re a realist after all. You begin to think that maybe you don’t even look like Rocky.

You hear birds chirping and turn onto a beautiful riverside road. It is nice to just be outside, you feel like you should do this more often. It definitely beats running on a treadmill.

Strides 500,501,502...

Hell yeah, you are the man. You haven’t run in like two weeks and you’re crushing this run. You must be a super-human athlete. You could have been an olympian. You hurdle a few park benches, do some pullups on a tree branch.

You skip four songs until “Gonna Fly Now” comes on. You run hard through that one and then even harder when R. Kelly’s “World’s Greatest” follows.

Strides 2021,2022,2023...

Suddenly, bam. Uh oh, you might puke. Your hammie is so tight all of a sudden. The U2 song that you hate and keep forgetting to take off the workout playlist comes on as if to taunt you. Your pace slows considerably. Breathing becomes labored.

Oh shit, you’re like two miles from home and running out of steam. Better turn around here. Why are these shoes so heavy? You must keep going.  

Suddenly people are passing you on the left. You hate them all. You curse the inventor of Cheetos and that damn cheetah in their ads.

Why are you so lazy? Your heel begins to shoot bolts of pain up through your spine. You think about all the people you know who seemingly never work out and stay in great shape.

The cramp in your side screams along with the Katy Perry song that only you know you bought from iTunes. You reach a crosswalk and decide that walking would probably be beneficial. You then shame yourself into sprinting up the next hill. You cannot go on. You stop and walk again.

(Slower) Strides 3589,3590,3591...

Oh man, why did you go to that buffet last night? You’re so fat and slow. You couldn’t even get through 3 miles. How could you have let yourself get to this point? You make a resolution to get jacked for the summer.

Your building finally appears in the distance. You open the door to your apartment. You try to talk yourself into doing push ups or crunches or something. Instead, you vow to hit the gym tomorrow.  

You fill a big glass with cold water. You glance over at the table and see the bag of Cheetos sitting where you left them. You decide you must finish the bag while your metabolism is spiked. Can’t have that temptation in the house if you’re going to get jacked. Is it too early for a beer?