The Grown Man's Hero

Batman has been a hero of mine for pretty much the entirety of my memory bank. When I was just a little guy it was because he drove a crazy cool car and had a belt that could do more than a million Swiss army knives. Now, as a completely grounded and mature adult...okay, I still haven’t ruled out a Batmobile retirement project. Anyways, a few things have changed.

The idea of Batman is intriguing and even inspiring. He is the closest thing to a real life superhero anyone can bring to the big screen (and then eventually our living rooms). He has no special powers beyond what human beings are capable of, and is therefore looked upon as an attainable sort of realistic hero. People can relate to his desire to help others and to fight injustice, they just don’t have the resources. Bruce Wayne (spoiler alert: Batman’s actual identity) has a fortune at his disposal and in the most recent film interpretation, an entire department of a billion dollar corporation dedicated to creating advanced military technology.

But he is still just a man. Very mortal, with red blood in his veins and real emotional issues in his brain. In fact, we see Bruce Wayne as a broken down man in “The Dark Knight Rises.” He limps around with a cane, his body deteriorating from years of crime fighting. He is struggling with the loss of his love interest and his perceived failure in saving those he set out to.

Batman is an actual hero of mine, and yes that may be juvenile and sound ridiculous coming from a grown man. But it isn’t, and here’s why.

Bruce Wayne has struggled with some very real psychological issues since he was a young boy. He lost his parents and seemingly blamed himself, at least in part. That’s heavy stuff. That single instance shaped the way he viewed people and society as a whole. Before his death, Bruce’s father was able to instill some very important and righteous values. While Bruce is tormented, struggling with self doubt and the evils of society, he still has an unflagging desire to make a change. He is determined to stand for justice, to protect those who can’t protect themselves from the oppression of the powerful.

I personally share that desire with Bruce, to stand for justice and protect those who need it. Batman is a symbol of strength for the weak and the meek, someone who has the ability to make known their needs. He is powerful and feared by those in power. In addition, Bruce Wayne is the wealthiest man in Gotham. He could charter a sailboat to the Caribbean every week and enjoy a life of leisure, or even worse dedicate his time and energy to becoming as wealthy and respected (feared) as possible.

This seems to be the mentality a lot of the powerful and wealthy in America possess. Money equates success and the ultimate goal is to be successful, so money is sought after with sometimes ruthless abandon. As a result, there is a huge gap between the rich and everyone else (mainly those who don’t necessarily associate wealth with success). Sure there is money given to charity and time spent reading to sick kids, but most of that is for self esteem and image.

What we need is someone with resources who will stand up for those who need it. Someone with a large inheritance they have been blessed with who chooses to use it to fight injustice. America needs a Batman. What we have is a bunch of Donald Trumps and politicians out for their own agendas. It seems that a majority of the men and women in power have become more concerned with their own success than that of our nation. We need someone who’s going to make the concerns and needs of everyday Americans their own. He or she doesn’t have to fight crime in a bat suit, but tackle injustice with the power that has been given.

Batman is my hero. And one that America needs right now.

Post College Community

When I graduated from college in 2009, the economy was slowly spiraling downwards. Well, I guess not so slowly. After a year of the so called "real world" I decided to share some insight with those college students who would soon be joining the struggling work force. I recently came across the article I had written for the student paper of my alma mater, and although it was never published (for reasons unrelated to content) I wanted to give it some light.  It hasn't been edited or changed since it was written almost three years ago.

So, here is a view of life from the perspective of a recent college graduate in 2010. Hopefully it will help those who are struggling to adjust to life after college and give those shortly facing the same challenge a leg up.

I’d like to start by saying that worry is a wasteful habit. However, habits are not easily broken. Perhaps the most important lesson that I learned during my time at this wonderful institution of higher education, is one that has little to do with books or professors. Life is unpredictable. The pattern of events, the sequence of time that will define our existence is impossible to determine. But have no fear, it is also largely under our own control. Hard work, honesty, and perseverance will almost always allow us to attain our goals. More on that later. Let’s take a little journey through the months surrounding graduation from Saint Anselm College, shall we?      

One year ago, as a senior, I was spending my days as an intern for the United States Probation department, and my nights searching for and applying to job openings (okay a few nights here and there). From that effort the only promising interview that I was able to secure wasn’t found on careerbuilder or craigslist, though. A friend suggested I visit the website for a youth home and apply for a position (she will probably still try to take full credit for my job offer there). Time sped by without so much as a pause and before I could even wave to say hello, it was time to say goodbye. After all the laughs and tears of leaving St. A’s in a black cap and gown with a rolled up piece of paper in my hand, the reality of graduating in the midst of the worst economic downturn since the great depression began to set in. It hit pretty hard right around mid July, when the job offer I had received was repealed due to a “hiring freeze”. Almost three months of job searching lost in a two minute phone conversation. So, what to do?     

Between days working part time for my father’s tree care company I was spending tedious hours searching for jobs related to my criminal justice degree (which is still rolled up on my bookshelf, but Father Jonathan I promise I plan to buy a nice frame for it). A few interviews later, I was offered another job. I wish I could tell you that I am now happily employed, working within my desired field toward a comfortable future. However, I am currently a Field Support Representative for Ikon Office Solutions (a supplier of copy machines). Such is life, however, and I am thankful that I have steady employment and the opportunity to gain some work experience. 

Back to that important lesson I spoke of before. Lets say that I were to jump into the DeLorean time machine with Doc Brown, set the time circuits to April of 2009, gun it to 88 mph, knock on the door of D2 and tell my past self what I would be doing in a year. Now I know that theoretically the universe would be destroyed (sorry, if you’ve never seen Back to the Future you won’t understand this elaborate reference), but getting back to the point, I would have thought that future me was fit for a straitjacket. Most days at the end of my college career I worried about what I would do for a living. What did I want to do? I had only small inclinations (even now I am less than confidently clear about what I would rather be doing). I worried about comps, I worried about writing my thesis sized internship paper, I worried about finding a job, I worried about moving back home. But you know what, all those things came and passed. I worked hard and prepared myself for these inevitable happenings and I realized that worrying about them is useless. I had a quality education, a supportive entourage of family and friends, and an open minded determination.

Now maybe you're thinking, why should I listen to this kid who couldn’t even get a job in his field? Well you would certainly have a valid point (even though I’m working on that), but I’d still like to offer some insight to you seniors who may be able to relate to my message.

First, stop worrying about jobs and apartments and bills and loan payments. Those things will all show their ugly faces soon enough. All you can do is be prepared.

Second, don’t put a label on your future. Expectations are made to be broken and they probably will be. Most of mine were shot after about a month in the “real world”. Now, I’m not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing. I’m just saying that you should be ready to roll with the punches and adjust to change. This flexibility will be a huge asset which will put you miles ahead of your competition in any field, and it will also allow you to pounce on opportunity when it presents itself.

Third, be ambitious but not foolish. Most of us need to find a happy medium between settling for something that is too far below our abilities and only reaching for our dream job. There is nothing wrong with living off mom’s cooking for a while (I definitely miss momma L’s Shephard's Pie when I’m eating a grilled cheese sandwich in my apartment).

A few weeks ago I found myself back in a state of worry. I was worried about females (go ahead and laugh), I was worried about bills, I was worried about hating my job, etc. It’s definitely tough to break this habit, but I have found that life is a journey most worth taking when you don’t worry about the ride. As long as you’re prepared. So, fill up the tank, charge the iPod, check the oil, and say a prayer.

           Saint Anselm College was the best decision I have ever made, it’s a spiritual place that can never really be duplicated. Last words of wisdom: enjoy the rest of the year. Take pictures, go on cruises and drink (water) outside with some polish horseshoes. Drag your cheap uppers couch outside and soak in every second of it. Oh, and don’t worry (not sure if I said that yet), life after SAC isn’t so bad.

Back to the Present

People often say that it’s funny how life turns out. I think the more appropriate saying would be ‘it’s funny how life doesn’t turn out.’ Most of the plans we make never come true. Most people will never make their grand vision for life come true, for one reason or another. Now that’s not to say that we shouldn’t strive for anything and I’m not suggesting that life will never be as good as we anticipate. Life will be as good as we make it, as good as we want it to be. I’m simply stating that it’s funny how different our realities are from what we envisioned ourselves being. 

If you had told me four years ago that I would be living and working in Boston I would have said “cool, I can see that.” If you would have said, “you’ll be supervising in a business environment,” I would have laughed in your face. But then when I subsequently realized you were from the future and that this statement would in fact become reality I would have probably cried (for several different reasons). In fact, I would have had a Marty McFly moment. You know the one in the graveyard in Hill Valley, when he finds his father’s headstone in the midst of a violent thunder storm. Marty had unknowingly been sent into an alternate reality that played out more like a nightmare (if you haven’t seen these movies, do yourself a favor and move them to the top of your Netflix queue). 

“Back to the Future” is a great metaphor for the phenomenon I am now addressing. We have a vision for how life will go and we just assume we will get there one way or another. And then things happen, or don’t happen, and our vision changes. The future we once envisioned is nothing like the present in which we now exist. And that’s okay.  

Every once in a while, when I am feeling nostalgic and philosophical I will begin to dwell on past ideas of how my life would play out. Where did I think I would go? What would my reaction have been to the present? Suddenly lost in these contemplations, my prospective shifts. Like waking up in an alternate universe, where everything is extremely different, I have a moment of panic. This is not where I am supposed to be and not what I should be doing. I can’t find the Delorean or Doc Brown and I am stuck here in this strange world. 

Don’t worry, Marty always gets back to his original existence (or a better one) and I always snap back to my reality. Eventually I understand that these jarring moments of skewed perspective, while they can make for good 80’s movie references, aren’t particularly helpful.

What I mean is, the most effective way to live is to have a proactive attitude. Expect things to work out how they work and always be prepared to face adverse or unexpected circumstances with a positive attitude. Believing that our lives have become something other than what we expected or wanted is probably only going to cause anxiety and disappointment.

Most of us get caught up in big picture type thinking and we neglect the small steps that are right in front of us. That big picture is going to change and if we try to get there as quickly as possible in large, leaping bounds, we are more likely to fall. 

To avoid the distress of not living up to our grand expectations, we should set small goals for ourselves and then work hard to achieve them, focusing on what is immediately achievable. Setting aside time for family and friends and hobbies is vitally important, but our goals should never never fall by the wayside.Don't be a slacker McFly. 

The Peter Pan of Academia

I recently enjoyed, for the fourth time, the alumni weekend festivities at my alma mater. There are several fellow alum at my work place and as I was very excited to begin that particular weekend celebration, I expected them to reciprocate. To my surprise, every one of the mostly older alumni were not planning on heading back to campus. As I pondered this finding, a theory began to formulate in my mind. It is that very theory, in its fully developed form, that I would like to share with you now.

This is going to sound weird up front, as a general statement, and especially for guys, but bear with me. College is Neverland, alumni weekend is Peter Pan, and those of us who have graduated and moved on my friends, are Wendy.

You see, we know that Neverland never changes, as it is so named. Nobody gets older and the good guys are forever youthful. College, as an entity, shares almost the same existence. College students will always be the same age. It is a constant, as is the idea of life in Neverland.

Once a year, alumni weekend comes around and (some of us) get excited, make hotel reservations, and do our best to get out of work early. It is a window to our past, an opportunity to go back to a place we learned to call home and where we made great memories with good friends (alcohol a possible contributor). We look forward with great anticipation to that one weekend a year. As we know, Peter Pan would once a year fly through Wendy’s window to bring her back to Neverland for some good ol’ fashioned adventure (and pirate bashing). Alumni weekend, therefore, is like Peter Pan. It comes around once a year to carry us back to a more youthful time and place in our lives.

This is where it all comes together folks, brace yourselves. As we saw in the extraordinary film, Hook, Wendy’s anticipation began to fade as the real world took its toll. As each year passed, she was less and less enthusiastic about a return trip with Peter (until she eventually just handed over her granddaughter, which is a little weird). The same can be said for college grads. As we get older and garner more responsibility in this real world (kids, homes, jobs further away), we, Wendy, are less likely to acquiesce to the request of our Peter Pan, the alumni weekend.

Fortunately, there is no Captain Hook in this analogy (well maybe the price of tuition or textbooks could be portrayed as Captain James but more on that at a later time). Another correlation I found was the company that I share when I return to Manchester for alumni weekend. I had an amazing core of friends and still remain close with a majority of them, and we make a big deal of returning to our alma mater once a year. Without that nucleus of people to build the anticipation around, it would probably not be as much fun.

Oh yeah one last thing, “BANGARANG!!!!”

Music & Memory

I’m riding the bus home from work. It’s October and it’s raining, the light of day is beginning to yield to the shadows of evening. I have wrestled with the daily internal debate about whether to indulge in the pages of a novel or just stare out the window. The latter seemed more interesting. My iPhone headphones are plugged in and I’m shuffling through the device’s music library, skipping those songs that don’t immediately appeal. 

Suddenly, on comes Matt Nathanson’s “Car Crash” and I am immediately transported through hyperspace back to 2009. I’m driving my beige 1996 Honda Accord through some back roads from Manchester, New Hampshire up to Concord. I can feel the emotions that I wrestled with when this song first played on my eardrums. The slight innocence and excitement that accompanied being a senior in college and the twang of heart break that still lingered at that time, suddenly felt present.

I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience, one where hearing a certain song literally transports your mind to another time. What is it about music or our sense of hearing that recreates memories and emotions so vividly? I’ve unintentionally recalled details about my past that I would never have remembered had it not been for the help of a song (not that they had been repressed for some terrible reason, just forgotten). This may not be a singular experience either, for me there are several songs that always reinstate a certain memory. Others recall a powerful emotion that I once felt when listening to the song or even because of the song.

There are surprisingly not many studies done on this particular phenomenon. Scientists do, however, recognize the connection between music, memory and emotion. Most of the research focuses on the connection between music and memory recall while studying or the effect of music on the recollection of those suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Fascinating stuff if you have a chance to Google it, check it out.

There was one particular study I found by Petr Janata, Stefan T. Tomic, and Sonja K. Rakowski in the journal Memory (Vol. 15, Iss. 8, 2007). The article focused on autobiographical memory recall, the researchers using certain popular songs from past years to test subjects. The respondents reported that about 30% of the music they heard recalled autobiographical memories as well as strong emotions such as nostalgia (unfortunately the article was not free and I am cheap, so I couldn't read all the results). This is an awesome finding, but really just scientific confirmation of what we have already experienced.

There is a definite, scientifically proven connection between music and emotion, but in my humble opinion nostalgia doesn’t cover it. By definition nostalgia is a desire to relive a positive experience from our past. Our personal recall songs take that to another level by putting us back into a past scenario, good or bad, whether we desire to recall that memory or not. Emotions can be powerful, and when they are, our brains store the feeling for later use. When we hear a song that is somehow connected to said powerful emotion, that feeling or memory is suddenly brought to the forefront of our mind.  

Every time I hear Savage Garden’s “I Knew I Loved You” it still invokes the feeling of young infatuation felt during an 8th grade slow dance (I swear when I hear this now it’s not a planned listening). How awesome is that? More than a decade later I can still recall how I felt on that converted cafeteria dance floor. 

Maybe I can figure out how to harness that recall power, crank it up to 88 mph and make Doc Brown proud. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. 

Tech Zombies

I made mention, in the introduction above, to the screen lit faces of the average American. Here’s my theory. The expansion of technology is an amazing display of human capability and creativity. Never before have we had such resources at out fingertips on an everyday basis. Smartphones and tablets allow us to do some amazing things, navigate a new city, find the best local restaurants, or even design a blog. This sounds like an iPhone ad, but it really is true. For all of technologies advancements, however, it ends up holding us back. 

Have you seen the videos lately of someone texting while walking (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl0JojWH1rQ)? It usually ends in the texter slamming into a door or a pole or even falling into a manhole. First of all, why would you walk anywhere without looking where you’re going? You’re just asking for a nut shot from a fire hydrant. According to an abcNews story, over 1,000 people were admitted to the ER in 2008 with injuries suffered as a result of walking while using their phone. My point, however, isn’t how dangerous it is to distract ourselves while in transit. What astounds me is the level of dependence we have on these little computers. Some people can’t look away long enough to avoid a low hanging tree branch, and while the rest of us are certainly enjoying the cartoon humor, it is a sad reality. 

Before I delve further into my argument, I would like to assure you that I am far from innocent as far as smart phone addictions go. I have fantasy sports apps, blackjack, even twitter (follow me @bennny_bos) on my iPhone and am sometimes quite distracted by technology, ask my girlfriend. I’m not suggesting you climb to the roof of the nearest building and ceremoniously fling your devices over the edge singing “Video Killed the Radio Star.” What I am proposing is a tech hiatus every once in a while.

It requires great intelligence and creativity to imagine, design and construct the devices we spend our hard earned money on. However, if you aren’t involved in the creation of tech devices, they are most likely sucking the imagination from your skull (think the scene at the end of Aladdin when Jafar is vacuumed into the genie’s lamp like a big red dust bunny). You cease to exist as a human entity when you have shut out your environment to stare at that screen. It’s no longer just “vegging out,” as we all like to do in front of the TV, because the device comes with you at all times and you are literally plugged into it so that you can’t hear what’s going on around you. You have entered into a lesser realm of existence. You’re a tech zombie. 

Creativity is sparked by your surroundings, through observation and unique patterns of thought. Having your own ideas and experiences is paramount to breaking the spell of technological dependence. What I suggest (and try to practice myself) are a few simple guidelines:

       Don’t whip out the device just because you’re bored; try reading a book or magazine instead. There is something honest and pure about holding an actual work of literature (just think great men and women like Abraham Lincoln and Marie Curie once read books).

       If you’re listening to music, have it at a level that allows you to still be aware of your surroundings and (gulp) possible human interaction.

       Every once in a while go for a walk…and leave your smart phone behind. Crazy notion, I know, but you’ll quickly discover how freeing this can be.

       Lastly, if you’re on a date or spending time with friends and family just leave the phone in your pocket or even tuck it away in a drawer so you can’t see it. 

I read an article in Men’s Health that even stated electronic stimulation can stunt your sleeping patterns. They suggested turning your devices off for a little while before you turn in. So, shut the computer screen, lock the iPhone, turn off the TV, and dust off your collection of Harry Potter books (probably brush your teeth too). Being a zombie isn’t cool, no matter what Kristen Stewart tells you.